John "Bald John Green" Green is a forward for the FIFA 16 Wimbly Womblys and was a forward for the Swindon Town Swoodilypoopers and was a forward for the AFC Wimbly Womblys. He is the emotional leader and heart of the club. He is married to Other John Green and has an adopted son named JJ Green.

The Miracle of Swindon TownEdit

Bald John Green
Fifa Name J. Green
Position Forward
First Seen #1: What's Wrong with the American Economy?
Last Seen #214: Series Finales
Starts 153
Substitutions 17
Goals 106

Personal LifeEdit

Bald John Green

Bald John Green, with his husband, Other John Green

Green was born in West Virginia in a coal mining town. His dad and several of his uncles were coalminers. He's recognized first and foremost by his bald head, the moustache (which he did not have until Episode 4), and then his loyalty. He is 6ft 5 (2m) and weighs 200lb (14 stone/ 91 kg) of pure muscle. He has the moustache as a shout out to his family who all have moustaches. He is known for his loyalty, which he gets from his family. Green also sometimes acts as a drama queen, as he is sometimes seen writhing around in pain when nothing is wrong.

He went to (an unknown) college and studied international relations and political science. It's said that he still has some political ambitions. He was noticed to be academically gifted. He uses his political gifts to settle disputes between other players. 

Green is often called his full nickname, to distinguish himself from his husband, Other John Green.

Green is married to his team mate, Other John Green neé Bennett. They were initially not open about their marriage, but after two years their relationship was revealed. Many who had wondered about the extent of their relationship finally knew the truth and congratulated the couple. The couple married in late September to early October 2009 (the exact date is unknown) and moved in together after their marriage. They live together in an apartment. It is the first example of a marriage between two players in a major sport.

When Green emigrated to the UK, he found it hard. He didn't gel with the club (Swindon Town) right away as he was different (he was publicly gay, american e.t.c.) He also had an eating problem. He brought promotion to the club to League 1, but he struggled emotionally. This meant Manager John Green brought in Other John Green. They immediately became friends and eventually led Bald John Green to tell Other John Green his feelings towards him and they became partners in a bar. You can read more here.

In the 2013 - 2014 season, Green requested blue boots and received them in episode 160. He then changed to yellow boots in the 2014 - 2015 season game against Newcastle United (episode 175). He is a shoe collector. Green also acquired some red gloves and then some red boots.

Football CareerEdit

Bald John Green is commonly referred to as a finisher. He puts balls in the back of the net ten times out of ten.

Initially, he was mostly interested in "American football". He played all his childhood and he was both the kicker and the quarterback of his highschool football team. He wa noticed by scouts and started to play for a Division 2 college team, which allowed him to pay for his education.

He first started playing soccer during his sophomore year in college. Up until then he was still playing American football, but he "wasn't going to the NFL by any stretch of imagination", so when the football coach caught him scoring field goals, he persuaded him to try out for the soccer team instead, he did. He was a natural talent and quickly quit American Football. He got a scholarship to play football and in his senior year, lead his team to the Division 2 national championship.

Afterwards, he got a starter with an Orlando USL-team and in 2003 he moved on to a MLS team. He loved playing in the MLS in front of fans from his home country, but when the cashflow got bad, he was sold against his will to Swindon town, but immediately fell in love with the people there and stayed. During his time in Swindon, he's gotten offers to play with other teams. But Bald John Green is loyal, so he's stayed with the Swoodilypoopers ever since. The only reason he left Orlando was because his coach requested he leave, because he had so much faith in his future talent. He started playing for the Swoodilypoopers and he got the club promoted to League 1.

In the 2010-2011 season, he took Swindon to second in League one, where they were promoted to the Championship.

He took Swindon to there first FA Cup Final (2010), where they narrowly lost. He kept the headline from the Swindon Town Gazette from the day after the game that talks about the heartbreak so he never forgets how it felt to almost win the FA Cup Final, so that next time he was in the final, he'd be even more determined to win.

He scored the Swoodilypoopers 100th goal in the 2011-2012 season against Nottingham Forest (Episode 33).

He scored the Swoodilypoopers 200th goal in the 2012-2013 FA Cup final against Manchester City (Episode 105) which was the winning goal.

Green scored his 100th goal for the Swoodilypoopers in the 2014-2015 FA Cup game against Newcastle United.

Near the start of the 2013 - 2014 season, Bald John Green and Other John Green got into a fight with Ricardo Bunsen Berna and Merrick Maric over the lack of communication with team mates, as Berna doesn't speak English and Maric is selectively mute.

During the 2014 - 2015 season, Manager Green said he was excited about the Swoodilypoopers first round F.A. Cup draw. This was strange as the Swoodilypoopers don't enter until about the third round. Green and his husband, Other John Green, were the only ones to pick up on manager John Green's slip of the tongue. Manager Green tried to pass it off as a mistake, but this was picked up by the John Greens so they went to Manager Green's office. The manager tried to cover it up, but they knew something was up. Eventually manager Green revealed that the FIFA 11 was not the only Swindon Town (using the multiverse theory). He revealed that he had access to another Swindon Town. They wanted to know everything about this other team and were surprised about their situation. They wanted to help out this Swindon. They agreed not to tell anyone else, but wanted to find out more so watched clips of them and read newspapers brought back from the other world. They became fans of this new Swindon. They eventually told their best friend, Leroy Williamson and he is just as interested. Green and his husband decided to move to the alternate universe with manager John Green at the end of the 2014-2015 season.


In the second game against Wigan Athletic (episode 20) in the 2011-2012 season, Bald John Green had to leave the field after an injury. It was so severe that he was out for 40 days, but returned for the second match against Sampdoria in the Euro League.

He picked up a minor injury against Huddersfield Town during a 2013 - 2014 League Cup match (episode 114).

Bald John Green was seriously injured at the end of the 2014-2015 season in a game against Fulham (episode 214). He was out for 36 days putting an end to his final season playing for the Swoodilypoopers.

Swoodilypoopers Strike BackEdit

Bald John Green
Bald John Green
Fifa Name J. Green
Position Forward
First Seen #1: The Swoodilypoopers Return!!!
Last Seen #35: Season Recap
Starts 29
Substitutions 0
Goals 15

Personal LifeEdit

Bald John Green no longer had a moustache because they weren't available in FIFA 13.

Football CareerEdit

Green moved to the FIFA 13 world with his husband Other John Green, Leroy Williamson and Manager John Green where he joined the FIFA 13 Swindon Town Swoodilypoopers in their 2012-2013 season.

After a game against Brentford in the 2012-2013 season, James Collins asked Green if he was ever going to score again. This led to Leroy Williamson getting involved and a fight happened. The fight was between new Swoodilypoopers and old Swoodilypoopers as they felt the old Swoodilypoopers got treated better. There was also some class divides. We call him Bob made comments about other players such as Leroy Williamson being stupid, uneducated meatheads. After their next game against Coventry City, Manager John Green talked it over with them. There was a lot of crying and the team came together again.

Green left the Swoodilypoopers at the end of the 2012-2013 season. He wanted to be paid $150,000 a week which was more than the Swoodilypoopers entire wage budget. He was offered $12,000 and Manager John Green explained that they couldn't afford it. Bald John Green explained that he and Other John Green wanted to make sure that they had enough money so when their careers finished they could afford to look after each other. He made sure that they could get to the Premier League and that they would do well without him. The Greens decided that Bald John Green would go to Barcelona and Other John Green would remain with the Swoodilypoopers.

After the move to Barcelona, Green made sure he saw his husband at least once a week. He got paid $200,000 a week and became a star player for them.

At the start of the January transfer window he revealed to manager John Green that he wasn't very happy at Barcelona. He missed playing for teams that needed help and with people who have lots of heart. He revealed that he had left Barcelona. Green and his husband, Other John Green met with manager John Green at a café to discuss his future. He told manager John Green he would have joined the Swoodilypoopers but he disagreed with him about recreating the past. He felt the team was no longer about heart but about manager John Green's desire to acquire gingers and people with cool nicknames and about him trying to acquire old Swoodilypoopers and not enough attention was placed on building the quality of the team. He felt that it was no longer the team he lover or the team he got in the TARDIS to play for. Green was offered $30,000 a week but he refused. Manager John Green disagreed but Other John Green sided with Bald John Green. This turned into an argument. He also revealed he wasn't happy at the club.

Green ended up signing a $6,000 a week contract with A.F.C. Wimbledon who play in League 2.

Near the end of the 2013-2014 season the owners of Swindon Town expressed an interest in firing manager John Green and replacing him with Bald John Green. He would be a player and a manager. He refused due to his loyalty to manager John Green and because of his love for A.F.C. Wimbledon.

AFC Wimbly WomblysEdit

Bald John Green
Fifa Name J. Green
Position Forward
First Seen #1: History of AFC Wimbledon
Last Seen #222: Season Finale!
Starts 141
Substitutions 26
Goals 97

Personal LifeEdit

Green now has a moustache again and a small goatee as moustaches by themselves are not available in FIFA 14. In this universe Green had the appearence of being born in 1985.

Green met his husband, Other John Green at a training camp. Green grew up in a working class family in London and always loved Wimbledon. He was horrified when the club was moved to Milton Keynes. Green and his future husband eventually caught the attention of a fifth tier club and they both ended up on that team. While they were there they fell in love and came out to their team-mates. They got married in 2007 FIFA 14 time. They are both in their late twenties. Green and his partner also have an adopted son John John "JJ" Green, which was announced in episode #110.

They eventually went to play for Swindon Town in FIFA 11 and then, using the TARDIS, FIFA 13. Bald John Green left Swindon to play for Barcelona and then Wimbledon. This was a difficult time in the Green's marriage due to the separation. It is much better now as they are back playing together.

Green is a believer in marriage and is against casual sex outside of a committed relationship.

In November 2014 the Greens had been married for a seven years and had known each other for ten.

In October 2015, the Greens announced that they were adopting a baby from Ethiopia. They flew to Addis Ababa and then travelled to the south of Ethiopia to pick up the baby. This led to them missing some games. They finally got to adopt a baby and they named him JJ Green (short for John-John). Dicko offered his experience as he is also a father.

One day Manager John Green guessed which Hogwarts houses the players were in and said that Green was in Gryffindor.

Football CareerEdit

Bald John Green and his husband, Other John Green, who are Time Lords, joined the AFC Wimbly Womblys at the start of the 2013-2014 season.

He scored the Wimbly Womblys 100th goal in the 2014-2015 Euro League against FC Twente (Episode 62).

After a loss to Barnsley during the 2014-2015 season, manager John Green started shouting at the players and Bald and Other John Green started shouting at the defenders Ozéia and That's Amoura. Ya Bamba eventually brought them together again by reminding them that it was going to be hard and they needed to be patient and they should move forward together.

When the Wimbly Womblys realised that they had made a mistake in deliberately losing games during the 2014-2015 season to make sure M.K. Dons weren't promoted to the Championship, Green offered to leave the club as he felt responsible. He felt he had swayed Manager John Green into adopting the strategy of losing on purpose.

Green was injured during practice after a 2015-2016 season game against Crystal Palace. He broke his metatarsal bone which put hum out of play for five weeks.

As the Wimbly Womblys approached the end of the 2016-2017 season the John Greens announced that one of them would retire so thy could look after JJ Green full time. They would make their final decision during the break between seasons. The Green who would retire would still be involved with the club just not as a player. In the end Other John Green retired leaving Bald John Green to continue playing for the Wimbly Womblys.

FIFA 16 Wimbly WomblysEdit

Bald John Green
Fifa Name J. Green
Position Forward
First Seen #1: Self-Publishing
Last Seen

Personal LifeEdit

Bald John Green was born in America in, in this timeline, about 1985. He and his husband, Other John Green, came to the FIFA 16 world and joined the FIFA 16 Wimbly Womblys at the start of the 2015-2016 season. They also brought their son JJ Green. Green's shirt now says "JJ's Daddy" on its back. In this universe he is English.

Football CareerEdit

Green was one of the original FIFA 16 Wimbly Womblys.


He's Big, He's Fast/Brash

He's got a nice Moustache

Bald John Green, Bald John Green.

(Sometimes "nice moustache" is replace with "brilliant 'stache")


Bald John Green, John Green,

He gives it all for the team,

Upon his moustache we're keen,

Bald John Green, John Green.

(Second verse used once)

Bald John Green, John Green

He's tough, but surprisingly lean,

He treats Man U like a latrine,

Bald John Green, John Green.

The John Greens Song:

John Greens, John Greens,

Bald and Other John Greens,

They love each other and they love our team.

John Greens, John Greens,

Bald and Other John Greens,

They're the best forwards that Swindon Town/Wimbledon have ever seen.